Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Tree Zombies Are Real

It has been reported by Twitter user @TamelaBuhrke that Tree Zombies actually exist. A tree zombie is a tree that has died due to unnatural circumstances. This includes putting the tree in your car and leaving it to die or just ignoring it for extended period of time until it finally fades away.

But due to supernatural reasons, the tree doesn't die. It does rot and it becomes soft in some regions but it doesn't fade away. The branches of the tree are transformed into claws and it starts leaking harmful gases. Unfortunately the event couldn't be covered further because @TamelaBuhrke didn't update her twitter time line. User @Dfg contacted @TamelaBuhrke via twitter but couldn't reach through. Fearing for the worst he contacted the local police and found out that they're already investigating it.

According to the inspector, local police was contacted by @TamelaBuhrke neighbor after seeing the Tree Zombie latch on to her neck. Miss Unknown was shaken by the incident and was holding a lighter and some oil in her hands. Local media crew gathered around Miss @TamelaBuhrke house and a group of Anti-Zombie fighters were seen holding lighters and flamethrowers. The street leading up to her home were jam packed with civilians.

According to Channel 4, @TamelaBuhrke is a talented author and she is fond of tree's and flying camels.The police fearing the worst contacted CDC, the car in which the tree died was covered in a sticky substance. The samples were taken by CDC. After repeated attempts the door was taken down. CDC officials rushed in only to find Miss @TamelaBuhrke on the floor with bit marks all over her neck.

The Tree Zombie or the baby tree was missing from the house. After a complete search only few drops of blood were discovered.  Tamela was taken to CDC ICU and is now currently being checked. This incident has sparked a major protest in the town and groups are seen searching for the Tree zombie.

Some witnesses claim seeing the tree zombie with it's claw like branches slowly climbing a tree. Citizens are advised not to go in the woods.



Related:

Back from the Dead

While I was going through my Google Account I discovered I had a blog attached to this account. To my surprise it was the blog I created back in 2009. Well, I can't let it die, so I will try to revive it. I am already over booked but I am sure I can add something here that will interest others.

This blog is connected to the Totseans Community Network, which is a network created by totseans to help change people life and bring positive change in them.


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Pakistan Survival Guide [Transit System]

Well, there are many misconceptions about Pakistan and people living in the western hemisphere do not know about them. This guide is divided into different parts, focuses on different aspects of Pakistan, and is aimed at educating everyone on how to survive in Pakistan.

The scenarios discussed in this guide are fictional but plausible. In any case, your best defense is common sense. So, do not take the words literally and do your research before jumping in.

[Transit System]

Pakistan has a very different transit system as compared to other Countries. Being a third World Country we rely on Vans and Buses, which are not equipped with safety features. The lack of modern comforts, unreliability and dangerous driving are the key defining features of the transport system. On top of that, drivers are uneducated and drive like animals with a mindset to kill everyone they see on the road. Now, what happens when you add the X-factor into this mess? The X-factor being the hostile forces aka terrorists. What happens when you are travelling from point A to B and a terrorist occupies the same vehicle you are using?

By following these simple guidelines, you might make it out ALIVE!

1) When using transit system in any Country especially Pakistan remember to pray to your GOD before entering the vehicle because you never know when it will just blow itself up.

2) Scan the vehicle for any hostiles the moment you step in, trust your gut feeling. If it does not feel right, it just might be true. If you feel uncomfortable, consider taking another Van or Bus.

3) Pick a seat which gives you higher chance of escape in case something happens. Avoid going deep in the van and stay close to the door. It will be easier to leap out if something happens. If that is not possible, aim for the seat next a window. You can get out of the window if the need comes.

4) Never trust anyone, the biggest mistake a passenger can do is talk too much or rely on the other passengers. Remember in the time of crisis others will ignore you and might kill you to save their asses. You need to consider this. Not many passengers come prepared to travel on bus, which might have a bomb in it.

5) Be an interrogator. If you sense that, someone is being hostile or is making you uneasy try having conservation with him. This will clam you down and will give you an opportunity to check the person. Being a Pakistani and a Muslim you are free to talk with any fellow Muslim without any problem. Focus on general topics, which will force your intended target to respond. Asking time and discussing religion or politics is a good start.

6) Learn to read body language. Do not get me wrong a normal civilian does not even care about observing things let alone read body signs. You’re body is always giving off signals which can be interrupted by sharp minds. The hostiles do not focus on this aspect and no matter how trained the hostile is, in time of pressure he will give off the aura of uneasiness. Your job is to keep a lookout for those signals. It could be anything from a sweaty palm to a nervous look on the face. If you see a person does not fit in the environment like normal humans do, make a run for it.

7) Make an escape plan; as soon as you enter the vehicle look around. Make sure you focus on everything and try to take in as much detail as possible. The Van/Bus could get into an accident or something unexpected can happen. You should at least know about the exit if something happens. If the bus crashes into a tree, you should buckle up or at least be prepared for an impact. Remember Pakistani Buses do not have seat belts. You will need to use your legs and body to control your movement. Check the windows and seats for any lose bolts or defects.

8) Always keep your stuff with yourself. When you’re travelling do not fall asleep and keep your things with you all the time. Learn to feel your body. It’s a habit, which takes time to develop. Also, make a habit of checking your pockets before entering and before leaving the vehicle. Hide your cell phone and wallet from other passengers and size up your fellow passenger before sitting with him.

9) Learn to recognize objects, which do not belong in a bus. For example if you see a missile on a bus get off immediately but in reality look out for LNG cylinders and other boxes which seem odd to you. Be talkative with the conductor and joke about these things. Ask him about boxes which are placed under seats. This might save your life if the hostile intentionally left it there.

10) Be in command. When the time comes some of the passengers might try to make decisions on your behalf. Sometimes it is okay to follow but since you are in Pakistan and not everyone is equipped with the correct knowledge, it is wise to judge the decisions made by others. Voice your opinion or take charge if it is required. Remember you are all civilians and this is not the Army, it is a bus/van full of freaked out civilians and who are running for their lives while not caring for others. Take command and organize an escape plan or just shout and yell to calm everyone and tell them to jump off in a fashion that will make it easier for everyone to escape.

11) Observe the new comers. A van will stop at various stops and it will pick some new passengers. Now, you’re job is to observe them and look for hostility or anything that might hint towards their motives. Remember use common sense and do not let your guard down. Observe their clothing and luggage. Most of the attackers do not cover themselves very well and naturally, you don’t see hostiles use public transport unless they’re targeting it, in that case just pray that you get off the next stop.

12) Guess the objectives, the hostiles usually go for government buildings or targets with importance, they prefer using stolen cars but as security tightens it gets difficult for them to move around, in that case they might target the public transport system. Therefore, if you do spot the hostile you’re job is to get off the van/bus safely without alerting the hostile. If you try to be a hero it might result in you dying [which is a big NO] or it might result in others getting killed [which is okay IMO]. Get off the bus and alert the police. Note down the bus/van number and give them the details they want. Route Number, Passengers, Driver, Bus color, Hostile attire and looks might be some of the things the police will require.

13) The best thing about Pakistan is no one questions your authority. You can go into a bus full of police officials and still survive without getting caught. The trick is to fake it. You have the looks of an official i.e. confidence and no bullshit aura you just might be able to control a situation, which others cannot. For instance, you have a feeling that the person in front of you is acting a bit differently or out of ordinary. The first thing you do is avoid eye contact and focus on something such as a book or notepad. Use your stereo vision and keep track of him. Soon the person in question will look at you because at that instant you are giving off an aura of authority, which the hostile is feeling because he is nervous. Then just calmly turn your face around and look in the direction of the hostile. Remember to keep your cool and your facial structure emotionless. If you sense the uneasiness in the victim DO NOT let go, focus your eyes on the victim and keep them locked. The next minutes are crucial because the hostile will either give off body signs which give the feeling of nervousness or he might try and make a run for it. In any case, your job is to stay calm and keep him controlled. When the bus/van stops, he will make a run for it. Hopefully he will get off with the bomb in that case do not go after him. He will not bother you. However, make sure to alert the police ASAP.

14) Be a resourceful witness. If something goes wrong, a person who observes his surroundings can become a valuable witness. Never underestimate the power of observing minor things. Take notes of different passengers and look for odd behavior. A good witness can recall the height, looks and general description of the hostile and information regarding the incident. Do not get emotional and keep everything factual.

15) If you survive a terrorist attack while travelling in the bus/van, avoid the media. The media tends to make a hero out of you and it might seem good idea at that point but when you become a material witness, you’re published in every newspaper and magazine. This puts your family in danger if the hostile decide to go for you. Contact the police but keep out of the lime light.

16) Always keep your NIC with you. If something happens, the police should be able to identify you. Remember anything can go wrong and it is better if you have some contact information with you if something actually goes wrong.

17) If you know that the hostile is going to detonate the device in the van then do, what you can to stop him or shield others. Because in reality you might not make it, so it is best to die protecting others.

18) Avoid buses, which are jam-packed. They are more dangerous than C4. Even if the bus loses control, you’re likely to die from being crushed than by a hostile.

19) Keep your mobile phone close to you. If you suspect something, send a message to your family alerting them about the situation. This may give them some time to prepare or alert the authorities. However, make sure to do this only when you have the confirmation and try sending as much information as possible. Router Number and ID plate number would be helpful in this situation.

20) Trust your instincts; they are your only tool when you are facing possible death.

This is first part of the guide. In the coming weeks I will keep expanding it and add more sections to it. This section covers the Van and buses.

Thanks for reading.

Dfg HQ

Welcome to my blogger blog. I hope this blog will serve me well. I plan to write movie reviews and anything that's on my mind.

Keep a look out for tons of images and stories from Pakistan. Unfiltered and unedited. Just for everyone.